'BODEDEREK

Short Stories, Humour, Music and Entertainment! Occasional HOT TOPICs with a unique perspective.. It's Christmas! When a man politely opens the door of the car for his wife,  you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is! What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant; Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant; Panic is when both are pregnant! Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period? Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away!" A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential? Dad says: "You are my son, ..I'm confident about that. Your friend over there,  is also my son,  that, is confidential!" A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman: “Which book has helped you most in ...

George's More Than A  Pet Peeve.. But A Major Psychotic Episode This is to clarify that the content of the video is entirely for comedic purposes. I wouldn't do anything he suggests in the clip. It's just a Joke! And, if this is George Carlin's own insight and unique perspective, I wouldn't know anything about it, because I never met the man. George Carlin was very funny. His humour can be cutting. Sometimes extremely, because often, he takes it to the very edge. Some would say, terrorism is no laughing matter. Lots of innocent people have been killed and maimed by creatures that have no love, empathy, pity or consideration for humanity.  Their aim is to get governments to clamp down further on our freedoms, helping to feed on paranoia, with our consent. Governments all over the globe are fighting the terrorists. There is vast support for everything the authorities are doing to detect, arrest and neutralise terrorists, but we must also d...

Without Quitting Your Day Job! You think making money online sounds like a daydream? Well, think again! There are plenty of ways to turn your skills and interest into cold hard cash. Starting a business of any kind is hard work, but the fact remains that countless people have done it and are currently thriving. Chances are, you can too! Whether you're looking to escape the daily grind, or you just want to earn some money on the side, here are some simple ideas you can use to start a real business without quitting your day job (unless you want to). Build A Drop-Shipping Empire by sourcing a pre-existing product from a supplier and have them take care of everything else, including packaging and delivery. Start A Clothing Line - If you already own an online store, you can set up your very own clothing line using plugins. Printify, Printful and Merchify can automatically link your store to apparel printers. Selling Your Art Online by turning your latest set of maste...

Educating, Entertaining and Informing with Short Stories and Humour! Are You Working for a Tyrannical Bully? I have been lucky. Most of my working life, I can honestly say, I've had good bosses. Honest, hardworking and dedicated individuals who took their roles seriously.   The great ones were always courteous, kind and helpful, inspiring the workforce to higher levels of productivity.  These traits created a comfortably great atmosphere at work and the staff were always happy to go the extra mile because we had a great boss. The only place I ever worked where the boss was a tyrant and bully, on my first day there, I noticed pinned on to the wall behind someone's desk, the following: How The Asshole Became Boss One day, all the organs of the body had a meeting to decide who would be boss. "I should be in charge," said the Brain, "I run everything and work out all solutions."  "Oh no," said the Stomach, "I proces...

Short Stories, Humour, Music and Entertainment. Just Good Fun. If there's anything to worry about, it's about not having fun! A Short Story With Some Reviews Stories are all works of fiction. Names, characters, place and events are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events and places is totally coincidental Camden It was around that time in the early evening when the sun was just about to disappear beneath the horizon. The sky had that fading orange hue. I'd missed several buses going home. Now that I was in my neighbourhood of Camden town, I wasn't in any particular hurry to get to my house. I was looking across the road, checking to see if the musical instrument shop on Chalk Farm Road was still open. Without paying attention to where I was going, I walked into what seemed to be a brick wall. In fact, I'd bumped into a man. My face was inches from his lower chest. The guy was h...

Educate, entertain and inform! Short stories, humour, relevant and non relevant. Just good fun! Where's the Money? This Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.  The bookkeeper is deaf. It was the reason he got the job in the first place. The mafiosi assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court.  So, the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?" Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill...

Educate, entertain and inform! How to be relevant where ever you live! On The Dance Floor Kanda Bongo Man On Stage Easter weekend was a self-indulgent one. My occasional sense of entitlement kicked in and I over indulged. Yes, I admit it...I get these occasional lapses. After all, I'm only human! I get into the spirit of the holidays. It's usually very good, if I'm not alone.  But, if I end up alone during celebrations, I will sometimes eat a little bit more than usual. I will eat and drink portions I would otherwise serve to others. Moments like these, I do as little as possible, act like a bum and lay around all day long doing nothing but over eating. I'm good at convincing me, that I deserve to treat myself... But by the Easter Monday, I was having a pang of conscience because I'd had a few defiant smokes along the way too, I'm supposed to have quit. It wasn't a good feeling but I got over that one too.  Persuading myself that...