The Best Laid Plans...

Short Stories, Humour, Music and Entertainment! Occasional HOT TOPICs with a unique perspective..

It's Christmas!

When a man politely opens the door of the car for his wife,  you can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is!

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant;

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;

Panic is when both are pregnant!

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away!"

A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, ..I'm confident about that. Your friend over there,  is also my son,  that, is confidential!"

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman:
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”

The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!"

A prospective husband in a book store, Do you have a book called, "Husband the Master of the House?" 

Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"

Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey,  and Love." What’s your secret?"

Old man : "I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!"

Wife : "I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day."

Husband : "I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!"

MusicArtinDesign

A Bad Boss Day?

Educating, Entertaining and Informing with Short Stories and Humour!

Are You Working for a Tyrannical Bully?

I have been lucky. Most of my working life, I can honestly say, I've had good bosses. Honest, hardworking and dedicated individuals who took their roles seriously. 

The great ones were always courteous, kind and helpful, inspiring the workforce to higher levels of productivity. 

These traits created a comfortably great atmosphere at work and the staff were always happy to go the extra mile because we had a great boss.

The only place I ever worked where the boss was a tyrant and bully, on my first day there, I noticed pinned on to the wall behind someone's desk, the following:

How The Asshole Became Boss

One day, all the organs of the body had a meeting to decide who would be boss. "I should be in charge," said the Brain, "I run everything and work out all solutions." 

"Oh no," said the Stomach, "I process the food through digestion and provide all the fuel and energy. I should be the boss" 

The Heart, Kidney and Lungs wanted to be boss too and made their cases. 

And so it went on until finally the Asshole interrupted and said he should be boss...

They all laughed, giggled and smirked at the idea of asshole being their boss. They really found it funny.

At that point the Asshole went on strike and refused to function. 

By the end of the week, the eyes got watery and blurred and the legs got wobbly. 

At the end of the second week, the stomach became bloated and the arms became lethargic. 

By the end of the fifth week, the heart and lungs were in severe distress and had begun to panic. 

By week six, Brain had a fever and couldn't think straight anymore...

That was when all of them decided to plead with Brain to let the Asshole take over and Brain agreed.  

So the Asshole became the boss and passed out shit while the others worked. 

And that is the reason The Boss Is Always An Asshole!

Bad bosses pick favourites, communicate poorly, misuse their power, are usually rude, take all the credit for other people's work and usually neglect their employees.

Studies show that bad bosses never accept responsibility for their mistakes, the poor decisions and their bad attitude toward people.

17% of employees say their bosses are dishonest. 13% claim their bosses are lazy while 25% say their bosses don't provide enough guidance and opportunities for advancement.

Bad bosses can destroy good staff. Causing them to flee while the remainder lose all motivation.

Know them by their response when you confront them and tell him or her that they're terrible bosses;


1) "A bad boss. Me? You really think so?" Should tell you, he/she doesn't know they're bad.


2) "I could do better if only I knew how!" He/She knows they're bad and wants to improve.

3) "It's my way or the highway!" Tells you they don't care either way!

To all the bad bosses out there, I say; Karma's just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink. She says, she'll be with you shortly because she has your address!

A Future By Design ~ MusicArtinDesign

Meeting Prince

Short Stories, Humour, Music and Entertainment. Just Good Fun. If there's anything to worry about, it's about not having fun!

A Short Story

With Some Reviews

Stories are all works of fiction. Names, characters, place and events are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events and places is totally coincidental

Camden

It was around that time in the early evening when the sun was just about to disappear beneath the horizon. The sky had that fading orange hue. I'd missed several buses going home. Now that I was in my neighbourhood of Camden town, I wasn't in any particular hurry to get to my house.

I was looking across the road, checking to see if the musical instrument shop on Chalk Farm Road was still open. Without paying attention to where I was going, I walked into what seemed to be a brick wall. In fact, I'd bumped into a man. My face was inches from his lower chest. The guy was huge.

I looked up at a stern looking face with bushy eyebrows,  his thin lips rested on a square jaw. He was wearing a tuxedo that looked a couple of sizes too small. His biceps were about twice the size of my thighs and he didn't look amused.

Behind him was a little guy wearing a dark designer suit that fit perfectly. He had on a purplish shirt with oversized collars. He looked amused. The big guy hesitated, I hesitated before I said my inevitable sorry. "Hey, how you doing?" the small statured guy asked. "I'm okay," I answered. "You didn't hurt your nose or anything bumping into Roland here?" "No!" I said.

Roland relaxed, I relaxed. There was something familiar about the smaller guy, but I couldn't place the face hidden behind the oversized glasses. I could just about see the dark straight hair under the wide brimmed hat that he wore. The conspiratorial look on his face gave the impression that he'd expected me to recognise him. Personally, I couldn't have cared less. I see familiar faces all over Camden on a regular basis.

Camden High Street

My nonchalance must have impressed him and we had an interesting conversation which I promised not to reveal to anyone. They were on a mission scouting out Camden venues. I gave them a few insights about the neighbourhood and the clubs and we said our goodbyes.

Two days later, Prince performed at The Electric Ballroom in Camden. I wasn't in the audience. I didn't even know about it until it came out on the news. Our conversation that evening will remain confidential for now. I will try to keep my promise, although it gets harder every day not telling anyone.

There's more and someday, I'll spill my guts. But not quite yet!

MusicArtinDesign

A tribute...In Fiction.

Reviews:

First Peer Review ~ 

How was the central character portrayed and was this portrayal clear and interesting?
First good choice of material. I would have liked to have the main character fleshed out more. The description of Roland and Prince was spot on. 

What made you think this piece was a story and did you want to read on?
It was a light-hearted and a good description of Camden. 

What were the most, and least, successful aspects of the writing?
I thought it could have gone places, after all he's met Prince! We could have been introduced to his jet set life. 

Second Peer Review ~

How was the central character portrayed and was this portrayal clear and interesting?
I enjoyed reading the descriptions, the characters came out vividly and quite mysterious. 

What made you think this piece was a story and did you want to read on?
The narrative gave me the impression that a story was about to unfold; the fact that there were these mysterious two people and they seemed to want something from the narrator was the reason why I read on; and the revelation in the end was quite interesting as well. 

What were the most, and least, successful aspects of the writing?
I think the most successful aspect of the writing was the description. The characters were normally but vividly described, fact which left me with an image from the story. However, the author exceeded the word limit (not much though), and it doesn't really seem like an introductory paragraph. I also think the description of the sky wasn't quite linked to what followed. The introduction could have been a bit more gripping. 

Third Peer Review ~

How was the central character portrayed and was this portrayal clear and interesting?
The main character in this piece of writing is the teller of the story. He is clearly portrayed as nonchalant, cool, casual. particularly through his manner of speech in the genre of 1930's private eye, Marlowe type and in the way he responds to his surroundings and others e,g, He is not phased when he bumps into Ronald. It was entertaining and I enjoyed the interplay between the characters 

What made you think this piece was a story and did you want to read on?
It was a story in that it set the scene and there was a moment of tension when the main character met Roland and the small guy. However we are not led towards the development of a plot because the character keeps his promises! 

What were the most, and least, successful aspects of the writing?
I was drawn to the characters, found them amusing. Thought there was potential to further the plot; set up some kind of dodgy deal between them. The promise thing was disappointing, seemed a bit of a cop out maybe. The last two paragraphs seemed to change style and felt a bit of an after thought. (All respects to Prince though) 

Scams, Hype and Cynicism!

Don't Relax Your Vigilance On-line

This is a reminder to the many people who use the internet to search for products and services on-line, to be careful and not get conned or scammed.

The internet is a great tool to access information, a great medium, enabling the world to become a more intimate, caring, secure and enlightened global village. Amongst all the benefits and the good it can do for us, there also exists, the very bad.

True, on-line is where many of us are guaranteed the best prices and some fantastic deals, but it also has a higher risk factor, with a lot of scammers and con men poised to bilk us of our hard earned cash.  There are a lot of scam artists out there and they are usually very good at snaring their victims. Their methods are getting more and more sophisticated, so watch out.

Many victims of scams, are intelligent people. They are so embarrassed at their own perceived stupidity, they keep quiet about it. Big mistake! Shout about it from the rooftops because the con-men are counting on your silence. Intelligent people don't like to be perceived as stupid. Just remember that it was your trust that was abused by someone counting on your silence.

More and more people are encouraged to use on-line services by the government and the service industries without adequate preparation for the realities of the internet. Now the unemployed, those actively seeking employment and inexperienced users are referred online without preparation and warnings.

No matter how glamorous and exciting a site, an offer of a bargain, think twice. Better still, leave the site and do an on-line search for comments from people who have accessed that service before. Even legitimate sites have been known to be cloned. It was sometimes difficult for visitors to distinguish the genuine from the fake.

We live in an age where materialism is held on a higher scale than ethics and morality. An age where some of the biggest and most profitable companies are rumoured to engage in price fixing. An era where the rich get richer, the poor get poorer and those in-between are stretched and confused. Where the middle classes are offered scapegoats by the politicians who take handouts and campaign contributions without questioning the source of the cash. What more motivation does someone with larceny in their heart need?

Apart from cons, there is also misrepresentations where clients get less than they expect without recourse to a refund. Exciting and exotic looking posters advertising shows that will not deliver exactly what is promised. In short, the content on the poster, is more exciting than the actual event.

No matter how exciting a bargain, an offer or a scheme promising easy wealth, proceed with caution. Especially, if when you attempt to leave a site and a menu pops up asking you to reconsider leaving, my advice is to leave as quickly as you can before you are relieved of your cash.

Some time in the future, I will be writing, if not here, on other blogs, known scams and cons, terrible services etc. so readers can know what to look out for. Until then, say safe, surf safe and don't be quick to get your credit card out.

Blessings,

Bodederek